I don’t know if any of you understand what it’s like to wake up and hate yourself everyday. I don’t think I’m ugly and I don’t think I’m stupid, I just hate who I am and what I do to everyone around me. I can see the disappointment in my parents eyes every time I see them. I’ve fucked up everything good in my life because I’m a selfish child. I’ve sought out help time and time again and I end up pushing everything out even though I’m talking to someone who’s job is to help me. I treat my friends like complete shit and I know it and I don’t even know how to fix it. I hate it. I’m afraid to tell people that I care and I can’t just change it. Since I’ve been at college, I’ve almost ended my own life three times, but I can’t even get the courage to do that. The night I got out of jail two weeks ago, I was a step away from jumping off my balcony. I’m afraid to wake up everyday. I get tired of living and disappointing everyone around me. I’ve been dealing with this shit since I was 13, and I’m almost 19. This shit hasn’t gone away and I doubt it ever will. This is something that I’ve been afraid to share with most everyone. Take this how you want to, but I figured I should tell you all.
And the sirens cry loudly. I’m reflexive. I cry loudly. You put my picture in framing. Hung forever, left me strangling. Called me baby. And with your nature reversed and our home as our cage, you caved and you asked “is this coming of age?” As you climbed out the window, your face cold as stone, you lifted the towel. Your wrist showed the bone. Held my breath in the ER, I swayed as I stood. I tried to stay steady and protect you the best that I could. And you pretended to sleep the entire ride home but I heard you crying when you felt alone.
LEFT ME STRAAAANGLING
CALLED ME BAAAABY
Why is everyone shitting on Whirr now? I missed all the news on them, what happened?